Why do I feel like I’m Going Crazy in Perimenopause?

by Magnolia on July 1, 2013

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It is the most common thing I hear from women regarding perimenopause.

“I feel like I’m going crazy! What is wrong with me?”

And there are a variety of reasons why women might feel this way too.

Personally, I think the primary reason is the simple “craziness” of perimenopause in general.

The wacky mood swings, depression, rages, inability to sleep, laughing one minute, crying the next, and all at an intensity that is too hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t been through it.

Never mind trying to get your spouse to understand.

Physically, however, there are a few symptoms of perimenopause which probably scare women more than others, leading us to believe we’ve finally fallen off the turnip wagon.

Mood Swings

For me, mood swings were the “grand mal” symptom.  They were so intense, and I felt so completely out of control (and frankly, I was), that I was certain I was losing every last semblance of sanity I ever had.

For someone like me, never accused of being a wilting wall flower, and who has spent her entire life bulldozing through any obstacle that might have the misfortune of being in my way, this lack of control was emotionally and psychologically eviscerating.

I’m also certain that my emotional and mental duress over my inability to control or stop what was happening to me, made the mood swings even more debilitating.

What Causes Mood Swings?

In the most basic terms, it is the very turbulent shift (rising and falling) in estrogen and progesterone levels that causes mood swings – particularly the raging part.  Much like the years of PMS (remember those?), when estrogen levels rise and progesterone levels fall, it affects your mood profoundly.

Estrogen is a wonderful hormone, and when in balance does wonderful things for women.  But, when estrogen levels are too high, as they often are for women going through perimenopause, raging mood swings (among many other symptoms) are often the result.

Adrenal Fatigue & Thyroid Dysfunction

Let me tell you something: I had no earthly idea that women going through perimenopause could also suffer from adrenal fatigue and thyroid dysfunction.  But we can.  In fact, these two secondary issues are often the culprit in causing and intensifying many of the symptoms of perimenopause.

Such as: crashing fatigue, heart palpitations, panic attacks, vertigo and dizziness, bolting awake from a sound sleep hyperventilating, and a racing heart.

You know, maybe crashing fatigue is not a symptom which most women would associate with “feeling like I’m going crazy.” But heart palpitations?  Panic attacks? Vertigo and dizziness?  Bolting awake in the middle of the night with your heart racing and hyperventilating?

I should say so.

What Causes Adrenal Fatigue & Thyroid Dysfunction?

Again, in most basic terms, adrenal fatigue occurs when the adrenal glands are called upon too much in order to help us cope with daily stress and demands (in other words, too much on our plate and we’re stressed out); and when our thyroid hormones (TSH, T4, & T3) become out of balance, thyroid dysfunction (either hypo or hyperthyroidism) is the result.

Both adrenal fatigue and thyroid dysfunction can contribute to and exacerbate perimenopause symptoms.  Vertigo and dizziness, for example, are associated with hypothyroidism, and heart palpitations and panic attacks are associated with both adrenal fatigue and thyroid dysfunction as well.

So let me say it again, ladies, you are not going crazy in perimenopause.  It only feels that way, and you can thank some of these symptoms for it too.  The important thing is to understand that “this too shall pass.”

It really will.  And while I can’t promise you that this aging thing and menopause is “all that.”  It’s certainly a lot better than perimenopause.  So, while you may be suffering mightily with those perimenopause symptoms right now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s called menopause.

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{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }

Erin January 27, 2015 at 2:33 am

I am 36 and have had symptoms for 2 years. I feel like I am going crazy, esp when my husband and I fight. The BHT has helped some, but my fatigue can be so severe, like every drop of energy has drained from me. I spend all day trying not to be stressed so as to conserve my energy so I can be a mom when my kids get home from school. Previously I was a high energy go getter, striving for my black belt in karate, but now I had to quit everything. I am afraid to exercise, bc I am always conserving my energy for when it is most needed. I used to be a thrill seeker, but a couple of days ago found myself crying and dizzy because I couldn’t handle sitting in the nosebleed section of a stadium!

What can I do to help with these energy crisis? My kids and husband need me to be strong.


Dena January 30, 2015 at 12:04 pm

I’m am so glad for your sight I have read one post after another think there had to be something seriously wrong with me I feel horrible all the time and literally hide in my home and have nothing to do with anyone ..my poor kids think I’m nuts and avoid me which about kills me I have always been so close to my kids but I’m a serious grouch and I don’t blame them for avoiding me . I have heart palpitations and everything hurts and I’m so tired it’s sicking I could of run circles around most people even at the age of 48 now I’m a couch vegetable …I have changed my diet stopped smoking sleeping more and trying like he’ll to exercise ..I hope this ends soon or everyone will disown me :-( one question has anyone used any of the over the counter stuff like estroven how did it go??? I do use a herb called evening primrose it has helped with hot flashes and helped with some mood swings and edrenal stress


lee February 21, 2015 at 5:17 pm

Just wanted to say hi to all you lovely ladies who are going through such a difficult time. It helps me a lot to come to this site and read your stories when i am feeling particularly bad, so a big thanks to you all for sharing. I think my hormones have been shifting alot in the last 6 months but i was so busy blaming my symptoms on myself that i couldn’t work out what was going on. I am 43 and my lifelong menstrual headaches stopped last summer, which i thought was the best thing ever till all my other symptoms kicked in! The length of my cycle now varies from 25-31 days with bleeding lasting between 2 and 7 days, some times its mostly clots. I have only had a few flushes but my temp does fluctuate alot and seems out of balance. My sleeping pattern is pretty unsteady too. The worst thing for me has been the heightened anxiety, feels of dread, panic attacks and unwanted thoughts. I found this is a viscious and complicated cycle as it seems to create all sorts of physical symptoms as a knock on effect- racing heart, tight chest, feelings of cold and constant shakes. At some points i have felt like i was falling apart and constantly wanting to go to the doctors, it truely does make you feel like you are going mad. I have just had 1 session of acupuncture which did really help and seemed to stop my body reacting to the stress of my emotional symtoms, will let you know how the next sessions go. Other things that help me are;
Taking 1 day at a time
Excercise, just 20 mins here and there
Getting outside
Being kind to myself
Reading self help books- try Richard Carlson ‘stop thinking start living’ -dodgy title but great for controlling crazy thoughts!
Remembering all the years i was well
Try see anxiety as a passing moment of fear, it always does pass
Remember not to believe anything your thinking when your’e in a low mood
I keep a list of things that helps me that i can re-read to calm me when i’m really struggling
Good luck to everyone x


Karen Kesner September 3, 2015 at 3:35 pm

I didnt realize what was happening till few day ago. Just thought it was me! Reading your post helped ….. its awful….just sad and anxious…


Kendra September 26, 2015 at 10:19 am

All of this is so unreal. I had been unemployed for three months, my relationship is ending and I was having financial problems with two kids in school. You would think my anxiety and symptoms would be at a high because of that, but they weren’t. I am now working and two weeks into my new job my symptoms are all over the place. Headaches that come and go quickly, DIZZINESS, panic, anxiety, heart palpitations, feels like my body is shaking, insomnia and a host of other symptoms. I am miserable.


Nicole February 23, 2015 at 10:42 pm

Hi Magnolia!

My name is Nicole and I am a mother of three boys ages 10,8 and 6. I have been married for 17 years and this year I am turning 43. Perimenopause started about 3 years ago for me and I am just now beginning to understand things. I have had the most difficulty of late as I am a control freak. My oldest son has a congenital heart disorder and I am anal about medication, education and his (as well as my other guys) over all being, My husband would tell me “you go overboard ” with helping others and our guys. But for me it did/does not seem like too much. I want to raise responsible leaders in my boys.

So the marriage has not been a picnic as you can imagine. I have told my husband I want out, I have asked him to leave, I have tried to leave and it never seems to work. My menstrual cycle ends and I wake up from a days of hell. I take full responsibility for my actions, I just can’t believe some of the things I say and or do. SO weird and bizarre that I sometimes can not remember what I may have yelled or screamed about. My husband then takes the liberty to …leave me alone. The last thing I want is to be left alone. I want to be cared for and looked after like I have done for him for 17 years. But I can’t seem to get him to understand. Then today it hit me…..Why should I have to make someone that loves me understand, shouldn’t they seek answers from the depths of the earth as if …..my life depended on it? So said to say…..in my case…not so much! Thanks for listening.



Magnolia February 25, 2015 at 12:49 pm

Hi Nicole,

I do understand your frustration. The problem with hormone imbalance and mood swings is that most people (and most certainly men) think you should be able to control them.

I do agree that we absolutely take responsibility for what we say and we should do our best to try and avoid the outbursts. But, as you’ve learned, it’s darn near impossible. I liken it to post-partum depression, which I suffered from HORRIBLY with my 3rd and last child. I couldn’t control it. I could only mop up the mess when the mood swings left.

I wish I had some good advice for you. However, I’m afraid that women suffering from hormone imbalance don’t get much sympathy when it comes to mood swings in a marriage. Some men seem to want to try and understand and God bless them, I applaud them. But, they seem to be (around here, anyway) few and far between.

I’ve tried to use the analogy of hormonal teens. How much crap does a mother take off of teenagers while they are going through their hormonal hell during the teen years? LOTS. We seem to be better equipped in removing ourselves from the situation in terms of not making it a personal assault when our teens behave like, well, hormonal teens.

Men are not as good at that it seems. They become resentful and bitter, and well, you know the rest.

I sincerely hope you can find a way to work it out and hold on to your marriage. If you have a good marriage outside of what is happening right now, I would strongly suggest you do everything you can to keep it. As a woman who is divorced and now raising three children on her own, I don’t recommend it.

However, my divorce would have happened whether I went through perimenopause or not.

Best wishes,


Madelene February 28, 2015 at 2:24 pm

Hi Magnolia and thank you for being here for us.
I’m suffering from peri menopause more than 3 years ago. But what hurt me area the unwanted thoughts that cripple my life.
How can we stop the “what if” forever.
Did you experience horrible thoughts during your journey?
Thank you


Shndar85 March 7, 2015 at 7:44 pm

I stumbled across this site and thank God I did! I have an appt with my doc., and finally told my husband today, why I’m going to see the doc.: I feel like I’m losing my mind! I’m going crazy!
I tried to explain symptoms to him and while he certainly sees what I do, I think he just thinks I’m actually going crazy too!
The last year or two, I’ve felt rage and anxiety and a loss of control of my sanity. My thoughts can get crazy: like leaving my family and living on a beach in a hut or buying a trailer and parking it somewhere and staying by myself. I love my family and when I’m “sane”, they are my world! But when my mind goes, I don’t want any part of my world. I can’t keep my thoughts straight. I can’t convey my thoughts well. I can’t hold my tongue either…..wanting to be horrible to people because at that time, I hate everyone. I’ve never felt like this! I’ve always been able to put on a smile and be kind and helpful and productive. Now, I close myself off – for the sake of everyone because if I don’t, they are likely to get torn apart (verbally).
I take anti-depressants and birth control for hormone control – but they are not working (obviously!). Other than acupuncture, can anyone suggest how to get through this? I’m afraid I’m going to lose my family and/or my mind – this can’t keep going on like this.
I’m truly sorry to hear that anyone else feels the same way. It’s almost debilitating (it IS debilitating sometimes!). How do you get through your job? Deal with your friends? Kids? Craziness of life?


Magnolia March 8, 2015 at 9:07 am

How long have you been taking the birth control pills, Shndar85?

That would be the first thing I would abandon, unless you’ve been taking them for a long time to prevent pregnancy or regulate your cycles. The better approach would be to try balancing your hormones through bioidentical estrogen and progesterone. I’m hoping your physician will be knowledgeable enough that he/she will know how to help you do that.

Birth control pills are not the best way to go about it. They have their place, I suppose, as do anti-depressants, though I’m not fond of either. But, they don’t do a thing to help you balance what is out of balance.

The rages are due to excess estrogen. So, at the very least, progesterone to balance that would be a great place to start. It will also help you sleep and tame any heavy cycles you might be having as well.

How do you get through it? With persistence. You do what you can in terms of diet, exercise, acupuncture as you do, which is good, and perhaps other stress relieving activities, maybe find a good therapist where you can talk through some of it, and seek to balance your hormones. Once you become menopausal (12 months without a cycle) and as you begin to approach actual menopause, you will notice that the symptoms are less severe.

Eventually, everything calms down and you feel “normal” again. Perimenopause can be a rough ride. It’s important that you let your family know it is not them or their fault. Enlist your husband’s support so that he knows when you have mood swings and say things you don’t mean or do things wouldn’t normally do, that he can be non-judgmental and supportive.

You need that. And it is certainly something he CAN do.



sheryl May 14, 2015 at 8:05 pm

I feel the same way. The crazy feeling and all the other stuff is BAAAD!! Want to just hide until this passes. I don’t know how I get thru my job on a daily basis and take care of my daughter. Life is already hard as it is and I am a single mom. Trying to explain this shit to people is useless. At this point, I’m lost and devastated.


sheryl May 14, 2015 at 8:12 pm

Magnolia, you have helped me so much in my journey. I can’t talk to anyone about this. They just don’t get it.


Ginny July 29, 2015 at 4:19 pm

I just read your story and can so much understand you. A few years ago I actually did take off, not far away. I did this for a while on and off, I wanted to run far away and couldn’t control myself. I felt like I was going crazy. I was so sad that I cried for months at first and people told me, its just menopause, you’ll get through it. I didn’t.Yeah, well, I didn’t. I had no paid job at the time, I was volunteering eight hours at the school that my kids had went to. They of course were done and graduated at that time and I finally just couldn’t deal going everyday because I would break out crying at some point. I did go to the dr and got tested and, yes my hormones were way off. My dr at first said no I wasn’t menopausal I was really depressed. Showed him. Jerk. I felt a bit vindicated becausr I was sure I was going crazy. A few years later, some estrogen and antidepressants and I am not crying anymore. Now I am raging at every little thing, have no patience like a two year old, and can’t put a day in what priority that it should be. I used to do it all, and now I don’t know what to do first because everything seems to need attention at the same time. It’s like I know what I need to do, but can’t seem to know how. Weird. It is very debilitating at times. I am hoping that it does get better because I do see that I am not doing all the crying now. So, there must be certain stages, at lest thats what I am telling myself. Now I just have to get through the being extremely angry at a lot of things and felling mean all the time. Good luck. Just wanted to say that I understand and it seems normal. At least I call this, my new normal.


Nicole March 11, 2015 at 4:50 am


Thank you so much for the validation, it means the world to me.



Magnolia March 11, 2015 at 5:18 pm

You’re welcome, Nicole.

We need all the support and validation we can get. Especially when we are going through perimenopause.



Trudy March 12, 2015 at 6:55 am

Thanks ladies. Just stumbled across this site and now things seem a little clearer. I haven’t been feeling normal for a while, reading all the symptoms of peri menopause I think this is what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to get my husband to understand and now I’m not sure where to turn or go from here. Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks


Amelia March 12, 2015 at 8:10 pm

I am 43 years old and have going through perimenopause for over four years.At first I thought that I was becoming bipolar or something but then I stared to read more about perimenopause. I told myself that this stage of life will pass and that everything will be okay. However it is not going to be easy.I feel bad for people around me.I am glad to come across this post and to find aout that there is lot more woman who are going through this.What worries me are palpitations,anxiety and mud. If there is any idea on how to deal with it please let me know.Thanks


Madelene March 19, 2015 at 11:10 am

Hi Magnolia
I’m 46 and going through perimenopause. I’m on low dose birth control pills ( starting Jan 2014) to help with my symptoms (insomnia , horrible anxiety…) .
Last month I had my FSH level tested and it came 31.
My anxiety is horrible and I’m thinking about getting off the pills and switch to Bio identical HRT along with progesterone.
My insurance would cover the standardized BHRT , what do you know about it? Would it help? My doctorS are not giving any advice !!
I truly appreciate your support , my symptoms affected my life, my children and my husband , who is willing to help but doesn’t know how.


Suzanne March 30, 2015 at 9:32 pm

Vodka – I used vodka for a long time and now the effects are wearing thin on my family as well.


LK March 31, 2015 at 1:09 pm

I’m 43 and supposedly I’m going through perimenopause. Actually I’ve been going through these symptoms since I had my son at 37. At first I thought it was just the adjustment one goes through since having a baby except it never ends. Right after having our son I had severe hot flashes (this is from someone who was always cold). Then horrible mood issues (I have depression so the postpartum swung into extreme postpartum anxiety then depression; I”m on prozac and lamotrogone and it’s a god-send). Libido has been near zero. Periods while on time were very, very heavy. Thinning hair. We were going to try for a 2nd baby but the fertility doc said that it appeared I was “done”. That all of my levels came back as if I were pushing 50. She didn’t say full menopause (since I have my periods) but she did say that there was no way I was going to use my own eggs; she wouldn’t even do IVF. Well that was 4 years ago and I’m fine with only 1 child. However, the symptoms continued. The periods were so bad that I went back on low dose birth control and it has regulated it to the best of it’s ability (one day is pretty heavy but not AS heavy; at least I don’t have to change every 1/2 hour). But the hot flashes, thin hair, tired, foggy, moody w/ PMS, etc are still there. And then 3 months ago, heart palpitations started. It wasn’t anxiety but true biological heart palptations. Went for my annual wellness exam and all levels came back normal and heart was normal. And now? Since the beginning of March? Now I”m friggen cold all of the time. The hot flashes are rare. I’m cold. Not shivering cold but back to how I was pre-baby–as in it seems to be cold in rooms and I have to wear a sweatjacket.

So is this peri-menopause? My moods and the cold are the worse symptoms right now. Oh and this month, I’ve felt “crampy” all month like my period was goign to start. But with the birth control pills, it comes when it should. How much longer is this b.s. going to go on? Today for me, the mood is just unbearable. Everything bugs the @#$# out of me. It’s hard enough my company is a very unhealthy environment and tons of b.s. but today, it just feels like I rather protest the dysfunction.

Any ideas on what to do/take to help this? The SSRIs and birth control pills are non-negotiable. Any suppliments out there like maca root help?


Julie April 8, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Iv been reading all your stories and feel for you all :( I’m 52 Saturday and think I’m at the start of this journey , iv been constantly cold for a few months day and night I have goose bumps do you think this is part of it as I’m already stressing over this ?


Ingrid April 13, 2015 at 1:03 pm

Hello Julie ,
I think it is all part of the menopause .
I turn 54 in May and I am lately cold at night too . I need a thick blanket on top of my duvet and wear socks and have a hotwater bottle in my bed . It is ridiculous . Since 2 years I have my period always different sometimes only every 2 month but the last period was crazy . I had it for 3 weeks pretty bad it paused for 10 days and started again and have it now since 8 days but not this bad like before . My mood swings also increased the last 2 month .
I am usually a very funny and outgoing person but not anymore . It drives me crazy to be most of the time sad or angry and I feel very sorry for my family.
I take some herbal supplements since a couple of weeks but I think it needs time to work. I also ordered natural progesterone cream what should solve all those problems but needs 3 weeks to 2 month to start working . I want to be the person what I was before . Meditation helps me to feel a little better .


Evie July 2, 2015 at 7:37 pm

Hi Julie. Isn’t it awful how we find comfort in the fact that someone else is miserable too? We don’t want another to feel bad but we don’t feel so weird or crazy knowing we have company. Chills then hot flashes seem to be the ongoing norm for me lately. I am 47 years old. This all started 4 years ago for me. I can go 8, 9, sometimes 10 months without a period. The hot flashes have been getting worse and far more frequent. Lately, I’ve been getting the chills. Once it subsides, I get another hot flash. My restlessness at night time adds to the overwhelming depression I have been feeling lately. I am constantly on an emotional roller coaster with my feelings and particular sadness. Internally, it feels like I’ve just been given some horrific news about a death in the family or perhaps an unfortunate event that is out of my control but yet, none of this has actually happened and I still can’t stop this feeling. I just want to cry! Literally! And I have! Several times! My son’s are ages 18, 19 and 21. My husband and I have been married for 22 years. They all love me but I am turning every word and action into an emotional event with them! They are walking on egg shells with me and I feel awful, as if I’ve turned our home into a dark, depressing place void of laughter. I just need to know this will pass! Does anyone, have advice? What can I do to help myself and family as all 5 of us are going through this emotional ride together?


Melissa July 18, 2015 at 12:24 pm

I understand completely and really don’t have any answers in how to help. But I am 43 and have been having symptoms like this for 3 years. Today feeling like I am going crazy. Restless. Unable to enjoy things I usually enjoy. Irritable at times. Just can’t put my finger on anything specific but just feel useless and hopeless. I am so sorry you and so many other women are going through this same stuff.


Patty April 14, 2015 at 11:28 am

Hi Magnolia,

Many thanks to you and everyone else who has shared their experiences on this site!! It honestly does help to know that I am not alone in this “craziness”. I am 50 and am now in the stage of missing my period for 3 months, then getting it for 2 months, then it being late/missing again. I am ok with with that, but the loss of resilience and sense of self is what really bothers me. Like you, I ploughed through life’s up and downs, but now I am feel so lost and lonely and weak. I am certain that I would be a great candidate for estrogen replacement, but I had breast cancer at 42 (caught it super early!!), so no hormones for me. I am also the lucky one that inherited the maternal side depression/anxiety gene, so I currently take an antidepressent (mid-range dose). I am going to a yoga retreat in 6 weeks, and then trying an 8-week mindfulness based stress reduction course. I am desparate to regain my inner strength. Thanks so much for all of your insight and for providing a forum where I can express what’s going on to an audience that understands. All the best,


Angela J April 15, 2015 at 4:38 pm


Try Amberen…It works wonders for me. I has really helped tremendously with my mood swings and hot flashes. I can deal with the hot flashes but the mood swings I hate. This product is great. I am also taking buspirone for the anxiety which has really helped as well.


michelle April 30, 2015 at 12:01 am

I’m 37and so confused about what’s going on with me hot flashes are bad night sweats and my period is very messed up I have it more then I don’t does any one think this might be the start


Cindy Watts May 4, 2015 at 1:39 pm

I am 46 a dance teacher and 2 years ago they said I have m.e. I had bad fatigue. Anxiety to the point I couldnt go to supermarket. I got a hypnosis relaxation audio on my I pod. Changed my diet as I saw a natural health person who Said I had leaky gutt Candida and adrenal fatigue I took some suppliments and I had lost a lot weight. This did help until I got Peri menopause I get zoned out like I’m not taking anything in I feel sick I worry sick about everything especially my daughter as in will I live to see her grow etc all sorts horrible thoughts. Hot flushes. Waking at night and early. Can’t wake in mornings I have to drag myself up . Feel like I’m going nuts then worry about worrying. My doc put me on the pill for hormones and it helped but after 3 months I started getting visual migraines. I’ve now stopped them and I feel yuk. I’m exhausted all time or I go into overdrive mode where I can’t sit still I can’t relax and I’m exhausted from thinking about how I feel. My only option now is to go back to docs ask to try something else because I dont think I can do this the natural way. I love my dance but can hardly do it now I rely on my volunteers and it’s really affecting my life. I worry about cancer risks with hrt etc but something must be helpful I can’t go on like this I want to be a good wife and mother and I try. Have no sex life I’ve lost myself and I must be a nightmare to live with for my husband.


sheryl May 14, 2015 at 8:24 pm

Magnolia, you have helped me so much in my journey. I can’t talk to anyone about this. They just don’t get it.


Magnolia May 16, 2015 at 11:15 am

Rarely do people get what you’re going through until they go through it themselves, Sheryl. I must confess that I was just as clueless about perimenopause and every other woman – until I started going through it myself.

Then it became an important subject for me to learn about. That’s just life, I suppose and how we all are as people. But, I’m glad you found this blog and I hope it provides some help for you.



Sheryl June 5, 2015 at 2:40 pm

Hi Magnolia,

Hope all is well. I’ve been going thru peri about year and half now and the last 2-3 months have been reallly difficult for me. Symptoms are vertigo, disorientation, confusion, oh my heart palps., feeling like i’m dying, actually feeling like I’ve GONE CRAZY. I am on bioidentical progesterone (about 4 months now). Some symptoms have subsided, but it’s the breaks I have to take between my periods that get me. It’s gotten a lot better since about 3 months ago even though symptoms are vague, they are still bothersome. I did go to Endocrinologist, and had every test done thyroid, adrenal you name it and says everything was normal. Of course, don’t feel normal. I just need some reassurance that this will pass and that I’m not really going crazy or end up in the nut house. My TSH was on low normal .555 (.3-5.0) which suggest hyper. I’m scared too death about this and they do not want to start me on medication. Some I’m just assuming it’s just hormone imbalance that is causing the thyroid or adrenal, or other hormones to shift. Thanks again for your reading and responding.


Lanette May 18, 2015 at 8:22 pm

I’m so glad I read every ones post, I’m going through peri- menopause. I’m 48 after reading these post I don’t feel alone anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy and I can’t control at times.


Bella May 30, 2015 at 4:59 pm

I’m 35 and have been feeling sooooo emotional and my anxiety is threw the roof . I had my tubes tied at the age of 23 my periods are sometimes late .. Is it possible to be pre meni as well at my age? It would explain a lot . I have the palpitations and hot flashes just standing there all of a sudden I feel like I get a high fever . I could cry the past couple of days about anything and early evening I get sooo as that I cry and it all goes away for a bit . It’s almost like waves …


Anna July 6, 2015 at 4:54 am

That’s exactly where I am. I feel deranged. Is there any point in going to the doctor? I feel so emotionally numb at a time in my life when I should be happy – getting married in three months, started new job I love. I just can’t seem to feel good about anything. I don’t want antidepressants that will just numb me when I already feel numb and te GP says that my hormone levels are “borderline’.


Kim July 8, 2015 at 9:23 pm

I can’t even explain how relieved I was when I stumbled on this site and started reading everyone’s posts. I’m 43 and last year I had a complete thyroidectomy and attributed so many of my symptoms to my thyroid, until it was removed and the symptoms continued. Over the past 2 years I have had horrible anxiety, several panic attacks that I literally thought I was going to die. But I’d have to say the confusion, fogginess and memory loss have been the most scary. I’ve always been so sharp and some days I wonder how I’m going to function. My mood swings have been out of control from rage to crying and depression and I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty even person, but lately I have no control over my moods and it’s so frustrating and upsetting. My periods over the last 6 months or so have been odd, skipping months, then having two in one month, but this past month was the worst when I experienced flooding for the first time…talk about panic! I have no idea where to go from this point, except to do a lot more research and make a dr. appt., but just knowing I’m not the only one going through this helps so much.


Nancy July 11, 2015 at 8:18 pm

What in the hell is going on! I’m either invisible or no one can hear me!


Nancy July 11, 2015 at 8:19 pm

As I put it…I was spayed! I had the option…I took it!


Jackie July 18, 2015 at 5:46 pm

I have been going to acupuncturist for months. My periods were awful, I had become anaemic and completely out of breath as a result. All of that has now stopped. Also mid cycle I have a treatment to prevent the uterus taking so much from rest of my body in readiness for next period. This has worked wonders. I recovered stopped going and as a result have just had the most appalling day. Exhausted, brain fug, miserable. Need to start going again because it did give me my life back. Mid cycle treatment is essential to avoid baby brain, exhaustion and fourteen days later a heavy period.


connie July 20, 2015 at 4:49 pm

Im 68 and none of those symptoms till two month ago.
I actually thought i was going crazy. I couldnt sleep, then I got anxious, then came the pains everywhere. I went to emergency room and couldnt explain thinking they would think im nuts. I feel sorry for anyone going through this with me.


Audrey July 25, 2015 at 6:36 pm

I’m 43 years old, 4 sons, married, and every day feel like I’m going to lose it, go crazy, wind up in mental institution. One year ago, I lost 30 pounds in 6 weeks and became extremely sick. After 3 E.R. visits and countless medical doctors just telling me I had anxiety, I found a holistic doctor who diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue, leaky gut, and every hormone in me was off. Stress was the culprit. It has been a very long journey of healing with supplements (a ton still), new gluten, dairy, soy, yeast-free diet, and changed my lifestyle.
I was a perfectionist supermom who volunteered for everything! My body told me I had to change, slow down. I needed to learn to take care of myself, which was completely new for me. I thought drinking a bottle of wine with best girlfriends after a 15-hour day was taking care of myself. I was actually spinning out of control.
It’s extremely frustrating when I have suffered for a year with panic attacks (magnesium helps alot), daily anxiety (at least I can do errands now), clotting, crying one day, screaming at my family the next day because someone forgot to put a lid on something, feeling so very angry, terrible aweful thoughts that I desperately want to go away.
If I had an end date to this emotional hardship roller coaster, it might help. When will it go away? This is not the fun-living me. My family, friends, and me miss my old self. I found meditating, supplements, yoga, journaling, massages all to help. I pray all the time too and love my new spiritual life. God does answer prayers. Thanks for sharing your stories and reminding me I’m not alone. I’m sorry you are suffering too. May God bless you and never give up!


Shawna October 3, 2015 at 12:55 am

Audrey this is exactly what I am going through. I can’t believe so many people go through this. Have you found anything else that has helped you through this.


Anay November 21, 2015 at 4:18 am

OMG You summed it up !!!! I see you posted in JULY, how are things now? Better? I think I might not make it through this part of womanhood!!!


sha adams November 30, 2015 at 12:42 pm


I always thought myself as a woman who can handle everything. Well I was WRONG.
I can relate to your anxiety and depression, the only solution, besides prayer, is to take one day at a time; do not expect anything good or bad. Write it down at the end of the day. I am sixty years old, and is now experiencing the postmenopausal symptom of distress. Keep in contact let’s see if we can all help each other with this plight of life.


Dana July 29, 2015 at 2:31 pm

THANK GOD for this site! at 43 years old I sometimes feel Im a 90 year old Alzheimer’s patient! Other days, I feel like a 13 year old girl going through puberty! At 42 I gave birth to our 7th child, during my third trimester, I LOST it! My hormones had taken complete control of my mind, and despite the fact that the therapist I RUSHED too did not find it necessary to admit me, I still wonder if she made the right decision. I held out hope it was, in fact hormone related and would soon be over. 19 months later, PREMEOPAUSE! YAY me! the depression has subsided (Praise GOD) the OCD intrusive thoughts have also became more controllable with fewer episodes. But WOW… the anxiety, panic attacks, forgetfulness, inability to concentrate are at times debilitating! Not to mention these, lovely periods.. One month spent sleeping on towels, changing super plus tampons, and overnight pads every hour, then the next month spotting for days on end.. I spend about 2 and a half weeks a month in a hell, that no one understands. Forgetting where I am, horrible vision disturbances, and about as much focus as a 2 year old. What time I am not completely paranoid about any tiny conversation my poor husband may have had with a female, I am crying, apologizing to him.. I swear, if it wasn’t for my faith in God, I don’t know where I would be.. I just want to feel normal again! I have worked so hard, loosing 70 lbs after the birth of our last child, finally getting my body together, now my mind is going!! As sorry as I am that everyone else is suffering, Im actually relieved to see others going through this.


Jenn August 2, 2015 at 3:57 pm

Hi! Thanks to all for sharing your stories. I am 40, and have never had an easy time with my period. It was always painful, rarely on time and I always had bad PMS. Now I have PMS all the damn time!! Cramps and bloating on overage 25 out of 31 days every month and I cannot control the rage. I can hear myself being irrational, but no way can I stop it!! The only way I stop yelling is when the tears start.
My husband doesn’t help either. He is quiet and never loses his temper. So he says “its nothing to be upset over” I want to smash his face in then. But the thing is, he is right. So I cry.
Being a woman sucks


laura September 4, 2015 at 6:33 am

i hear ya girlfriend *high fives*


leann August 26, 2015 at 8:21 pm

Y do I feel like I am going crazy


laura September 4, 2015 at 6:34 am

your not hun,. just your body is. hormones run everything in our body so as they try to change and adjust it all goes haywire. there are some great things about being a woman, this isnt one of them. Here’s to the eostrogen rockets girls!


laura September 4, 2015 at 6:31 am

hi there girls. i thought i was alone at 57 and still getting the periods from hell. i started at age 10!! I see some are 60 and still going which in one way is depressing but at least i know im not alone. Just feel really crappy. I have always had heavy and painful periods but enough already!!! MY doctor said he has never seen a woman past 55 get one. yeah right! he suggested surgery. no thanks. the body will do what it does but it sucks is all.
laura :)


Brenda sexton November 8, 2015 at 1:40 pm

I am 55.I am going through prementapause my periods are heavy with clots..then it goes away and comes back.they said my ovaries are good.this stuff wants to make me scream


Magnolia November 9, 2015 at 5:40 pm


Progesterone will knock the heavy periods and blood clots right out of the ballpark. Try it! It works.



Vatona September 6, 2015 at 7:44 am

I had a total hysterectomy 15 years ago. In the last few months, I have noticed a big change in my attitude and actions. I feel depressed, very emotional, I can’t think, I feel like my head is in a fog. I get very mad at nothing, starting to throw things, hot flashes, cry at nothing, feel like i’m just losing it. I don’t know why all of a sudden this came on me.
Is it possible I’m going thru menopause again or still???? I am not on any meds for menopause. I need help!! I really feel like i’m losing it!


sheilah September 6, 2015 at 10:41 am


I would really appreciate advise.

I think I may have had a terrible episode of “perimanopause rage” that may have cost me a friendship.

A cherished friend of mine who lives out of state was visiting, but she told me that during her 9 day stay she had much going on. I interpreted this as her saying that she was too busy to see me. It made me feel devalued, used, unappreciated, etc. My thoughts were irrational, but I became enraged. I felt out of control and sent her a very angry email. (no name calling or anything too insulting, but very angry). She called me immediately, but I refused to speak to her. Then a week later we spoke on the phone and I expressed my irrational thoughts. I was still in the heat of it. But after the phone call, I realized how irrational and inappropriate my rage was. I didn’t understand what happened. My actions and thought patterns did not feel like me.

I have never EVER suffered from emotional outbursts. I am very self-controlled. I have no history of mental illness. And I never suffered from PMS. This irrational rage came out of nowhere.

Looking back, I realize that I was ovulating during this period ( I’m 50 years old with regular periods), and that in addition to the incident with my friend I was acting peculiar and my thinking was not right. Around that same time I began to sob uncontrolably thinking that I had no friends, and that no one liked me. Again, irrational. I have many friends. I sent another friend inappropriate emails. I called another friend in a rage, but lucky for me that friend didn’t pick up the phone, otherwise I would have lost another friend. I knew I was acting unhinged but I couldn’t stop. This period of irrational rage lasted about two weeks.

After 2 weeks when the episode cleared I sent my friend a heartfelt apology about my behavior, but she did not accept my apology. She thanked me for the apology, but said that she felt we needed a time out and should not have any contact for a few months. Then she blocked me on Facebook. I was devastated.

I never explained to her that my actions may have been due to perimenopause because to be honest, at the time I apologized I had no idea why I fell into an irrational rage. I still don’t really. I had always been a good and kind friend to her. I never showed any anger toward her. This was very out of character for me and I’m sure she felt that I was unhinged.

In a few months I will try to contact her, but I’m not sure what to say. It is very embarassing to state that I was in a “perimenopause rage.” And I also don’t want it to sound like I am not taking ful responsibility for my hurtful and inappropriate actions.


Thank you.
-Devastated to have lost a dear friend.


Magnolia September 6, 2015 at 11:03 am


First, I’m sorry that you’ve experienced the loss of friends over this. I do personally understand the rages and mood swings which are associated with perimenopause for many women. I had them horribly. The things that would come out of my mouth were simply horrifying. And on top of it all, I had no one to turn to who was willing to offer the kind of non-judgmental emotional support that I needed.

I felt so out of control of my mind, my mouth, my behavior, my emotions. And that just made everything worse. The harder I tried to control what was happening to me, the harder I would fail and fall flat on my face. Which, in turn, would add to my self-loathing, guilt, shame, and flat out despair. It didn’t matter how many times I apologized to my then spouse, he just didn’t think that I had an excuse which justified my actions.

I am now 5 years post-menopause. I haven’t had a raging mood swing in close to 10 years. I know full well that everything I went through back then was completely and entirely due to my hormonal shifts. I also wish I had known that hormone therapy could have helped me. But, I was also anti-hormones, or really anything which signified my weakness. After all, if I had to take a pill to help me get control of myself, I certainly wasn’t in control, now was I?

It was a horrible cycle of shame, self-loathing, self-flagellation, and despair and played out every month for month, after month, after month. It went on for well over 3 to 5 years. Like you, I apologized profusely to those whom I had unloaded on. And I think we should. While we can’t help what precipitates the mood swings, we DO have a responsibility to those around us to acknowledge that we behaved badly.

However, I also believe that those closest to us, spouses, family, friends, REALLY need to give us some major slack and be willing to forgive and forget. Especially if we’re doing everything we can to manage it. If you are not seeing a physician to have your hormone levels tested, or to seek some kind of therapy to help with the mood swings, you really should.

And you should also inform those around you exactly what is going on and to ask them to please be as patient and supportive as they can. I used to lock myself away from family and friends and tell them flat out…..I’m having a tough time with this, please don’t take it personally, but I need to be left alone or I might say or do something I do not mean.

My children were understanding of it and willing to forgive me. My husband was not. And to be frank, after I got through it all and saw his complete lack of support for me (not just with this, but with pretty much EVERYTHING), I decided I wanted out of the marriage and filed for divorce. It was a hard decision, but it’s not like we beckon perimenopause into our lives so that we can punish people.

We truly can’t help what it does to our bodies and our minds. We CAN however, fight back with hormone therapy, changes in diet, and other lifestyle changes which can be very helpful. And we can also let those we love know that we are aware how negatively the hormones are affecting us. Beyond that, I truly think that those who are close to us and call us our friends or our family, also have an obligation to forgive us when we take responsibility for our actions.

That your friends have refused to forgive you when you have clearly tried to take responsibility for what you said and did speaks more about THEM than it does about YOU. It certainly wouldn’t hurt you to make sure that people around you are aware that you are going through this and how it affects you. In times when you’re not feeling emotionally out of control, you can tell them exactly what is going on and to please try and understand.

You can also tell them that if you decide to put some distance between you and the relationship during that time, to please realize why you are doing it. A true friend will be willing to give you that space and to forgive you, Sheilah. If they will not, there is nothing more than you can do except move on from the friendship.

I had a very close friend shut me out of her life about 20 years ago for no discernable reason whatsoever. She dropped me like a hot potato. I reached out to her several times over the years through phone calls, letters, and emails. She never returned them and never spoke to me again. I tried to rectify whatever it was that she was angry over, but she was having none of it. SHE chose to end our friendship by refusing to forgive me.

I finally accepted it and moved on. I do not feel guilty over it and never will. Knowing what I did to try to right the wrong, and knowing that SHE wouldn’t accept my olive branch, set me free from any guilt. And it should also set you free.

If you are doing all that you can to take responsibility and she or anyone else won’t forgive you……move on, my friend. And don’t let it burden you.



Cass September 23, 2015 at 8:16 pm

Wow. I am so blown away by so many of these postings.

I am 51 and have experienced nearly all of these symptoms without knowing they were related to perimenopause. I knew some were, but not things like vertigo, which I had some intense bouts of during my late 40s. (Yoga helped tremendously to alleviate that.)

I have been feeling intensely insecure, like I have no friends, that I’m a failure as a mother and wife, very discontent with my husband, and really isolated and alone. It’s been going on for nearly a year now and I’ve been doing a lot of exercise, seeing a therapist, and am considering some kind of medical treatment for depression and anxiety.

I just really wanted to say though, that it’s such a huge relief to read all of your posts. Going through this is so much more intense that I ever imagined it would be. I have never felt so out of control and so vulnerable. It’s heartwarming to know that I’m not just absolutely crazy and that others are experiencing the same things. Not that I would wish this journey on anyone.

Thanks for your brave voices. Class


Lori December 26, 2015 at 2:42 am

I feel exactly as you do Cass. I am 50 years old and feel like I could have written your words to describe myself. Thank you for sharing.


Leila September 26, 2015 at 6:11 pm

I am 43 years and nine months mother of two, my first kid is 20th and my second is 2 and nine months. my lovely husband of 3 years and 9 months, with who live before the marriage for a 7 years together is 34, nine years my junior. I just feel confused what to do, I feel is not the right thing to tell him that I am going true perymenopause, I don’t want him to get scared and I feel so sorry for him in his beautiful 30’s to deal with me, and all the list of perymenopause symptoms. What to do, genetics are stronger then us, my mom enter the menopause at 44. I am thinking of hormonal therapy so I could stay more vital for my younger husband and better mom for my kids, especially for the little one, Would appreciate feedback from someone who already have experience taking the hormonal therapy to live some comment.


Jane October 12, 2015 at 8:42 am

I’m have Bipolar disorder, and am going through this. I have two close friends, one going through perimenopause herself and one who is a know it all, who has being driving me nuts with pushy advice. My perimenopausal friend has become short and rude to me. A close family member recently died, and I have been very upset. She gets annoyed with me, and I feel that I have to distance myself from both friends. I talk too much about my problems, so probably set myself up for this. Just feel bad enough without having to be lambasted or scolded.


Daria October 13, 2015 at 6:55 pm

Hi. I am not sure if what I am going through could be the start of perimenopause. I am 42 and I had a baby 2 years ago. After his birth at which time I hemoragged I started feeling unwell. My periods became irregular and very short. I have been seen by many Drs who cannot find a reason for my feeling sick. I have nausea, dizziness, panic attacks and high blood pressure now. My hormone levels were tested and are normal however I cannot help but believe something hormonal is going on that was triggered by my sons birth. Is there any relief for these symptoms if in fact it is perimenopause? I notice the week before my period they become very intense. Especially the vertigo and rapid heart rate. Any advice is appreciated.


Mari October 27, 2015 at 3:05 am

I am turning 46 soon. I started feeling this brand of insanity 2 years ago. First , let me lay down the positives: Wild migraine pain attacks has become less frequent, never felt tired or fatigued. Now, the negatives: Palpitations, I developed aversion to food that I lost weight, just last month, my period changed from normally a 3 day average bleeding to 6 days light bleeding, 21 to 22 day cycle from 25, longer bouts of sad, melancholic episodes, feelings of dread; hopelessness; uselessness, stiffness here and there, rage, feels like I want to burst out crying for no reason and when I start crying, I sob like the whole world is being mean to me, paranoia, joint pains, I know slept through the night but woke up as if I didn’t sleep at all, my laziness has reached its peak, I swear. I had nightsweats but it’s always close to my period, extreme anxiety, I often find myself staring at nothing with my eyes transfixed at something that’s not there, I always want to be alone, everything stresses me out. Long story short, I am convinced I’d perfectly fit the profile of someone who has a clinical depression.
I engaged in a 2 hour work out for a full year diligently on top of not eating properly. I lost a lot weight. On the upside, it helped with the symptoms perimenopause and the accompanying depression. I was losing weight significantly that I got scared, I started eating healthy, you know what I mean.
Recently though, I have not been paying attention to working out, I still eat very little though. It certainly feels like my perimenopause symptoms are getting worse. Everyday is a struggle to start any activity.
I am just relieved that I found this site where I can freely talk about what I am going through. I have an ocassional supportive husband but sometimes, he is why I go into rage.


Debbie November 29, 2015 at 3:12 pm

I’m 52 yrs of age and about 6 months ago was told my aches and pains were probably fibromyalgia. I’ve always thought it more likely I was perimenopause. I had my last period 3 weeks ago which was very light..I then started experiencing breastfeeding soreness and 6 days ago I started bleeding again (very light) I’m suffering with lower right sided back pain. Today my partner asked me a question and I looked at him blankly and walked past. He later asked if I was ok and I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying. I think the worst all the time
Help me as I think I’m going mad!!!!!!


Magnolia November 29, 2015 at 3:34 pm

Hi Debbie,

A large percentage of patients who are diagnosed with fibromyalgia are women. And of those women, the highest percentage are women in menopause. I believe (only an educated observation and my opinion) that it is due to the lower levels of estrogen in our bodies once we reach actual menopause. Chronic joint and muscle pain for women in menopause has been associated with lower levels of estrogen and serotonin.

I do understand the feeling as if you are losing your mind. It does that to you. But, you won’t feel this way forever. I hope your partner will be patient with you as you go through this changes and offer support. You need it.



sha adams November 30, 2015 at 12:58 pm

Thank you for this website, now I feel a whole lot better. I thought I was the only one going thru the aches and pains of the joints, I realize in reading other comments, I’m not. I have been postmenopausal for five years, then within days(two weeks ago) depression, panic attacks, stiff joints came upon me! I am a naturopathic specialist, and thought I was eating the right type of vegetables, fruits and grains. Then this happen.


sharon December 11, 2015 at 6:50 pm

Didn’t realise I was being different till my husband told me I’m not the women he married and doesn’t like who I have become and then my daughter told me she hated me cause all I do is shout. Wish they had sat me down and explained that I was changing as I didn’t realise now I feel like everyone would be better off without me and that they are all ganging up on me? Don’t know what to do now


Sharon February 17, 2016 at 12:54 pm

Hello Mangolia
I keep looking and reading about this that us women go through. I was diagnosed with hypothyroid last February and by May told I was going through the something called peri menopause. I did not feel like myself that was the reason I went to the dr. I was ready to cry at the drop of a pin and so very angry at things I used to over look. I am only 46.

They adjusted my thyroid medications with in 5 months and I am not due back for another couple of months. The doctor told me my thyroid levels were fine and to take a few homeopathic herbs for the menopause symptoms. But I still don’t feel right. Lows and highs. I’ll have days that are great and seem so perfect and all of a sudden it’s like it switches and I don’t even know why.

I try to keep my mood low but it escalates with things said and I always come back worse with every word. I have been told to control my hormones and that I am psychotic. Am I? I sure feel like I could be. But I also feel like if I were give the tender side of my husband that he could change the things that happen. I can’t help thinking that time is of essence and I can’t quite thinking. Always something running through my mind.

I’m hateful even though things are fine. I was a happy person once upon a time, strong and helpful. Now I don’t want to help I want people to notice me. I feel like I’m losing everything around me from my family to myself. But then I know it’s just time. But how much time. hot flashes, sad, happy overwhelmed unable to focus yet so focused

Thank you for listening. Your sight is helpful in reading that I am not the only one. I can relate to almost all of the posts written in one way or another.


Lisa April 12, 2016 at 1:43 pm

I’m 43. How do I go off the pill without having horrible symptoms of perimenopause. I tried going off the pill last year and had horrible anxiety, no sleep and fainting spells


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