Why do I feel like I’m Going Crazy in Perimenopause?

by Magnolia on July 1, 2013

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It is the most common thing I hear from women regarding perimenopause.

“I feel like I’m going crazy! What is wrong with me?”

And there are a variety of reasons why women might feel this way too.

Personally, I think the primary reason is the simple “craziness” of perimenopause in general.

The wacky mood swings, depression, rages, inability to sleep, laughing one minute, crying the next, and all at an intensity that is too hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t been through it.

Never mind trying to get your spouse to understand.

Physically, however, there are a few symptoms of perimenopause which probably scare women more than others, leading us to believe we’ve finally fallen off the turnip wagon.

Mood Swings

For me, mood swings were the “grand mal” symptom.  They were so intense, and I felt so completely out of control (and frankly, I was), that I was certain I was losing every last semblance of sanity I ever had.

For someone like me, never accused of being a wilting wall flower, and who has spent her entire life bulldozing through any obstacle that might have the misfortune of being in my way, this lack of control was emotionally and psychologically eviscerating.

I’m also certain that my emotional and mental duress over my inability to control or stop what was happening to me, made the mood swings even more debilitating.

What Causes Mood Swings?

In the most basic terms, it is the very turbulent shift (rising and falling) in estrogen and progesterone levels that causes mood swings – particularly the raging part.  Much like the years of PMS (remember those?), when estrogen levels rise and progesterone levels fall, it affects your mood profoundly.

Estrogen is a wonderful hormone, and when in balance does wonderful things for women.  But, when estrogen levels are too high, as they often are for women going through perimenopause, raging mood swings (among many other symptoms) are often the result.

Adrenal Fatigue & Thyroid Dysfunction

Let me tell you something: I had no earthly idea that women going through perimenopause could also suffer from adrenal fatigue and thyroid dysfunction.  But we can.  In fact, these two secondary issues are often the culprit in causing and intensifying many of the symptoms of perimenopause.

Such as: crashing fatigue, heart palpitations, panic attacks, vertigo and dizziness, bolting awake from a sound sleep hyperventilating, and a racing heart.

You know, maybe crashing fatigue is not a symptom which most women would associate with “feeling like I’m going crazy.” But heart palpitations?  Panic attacks? Vertigo and dizziness?  Bolting awake in the middle of the night with your heart racing and hyperventilating?

I should say so.

What Causes Adrenal Fatigue & Thyroid Dysfunction?

Again, in most basic terms, adrenal fatigue occurs when the adrenal glands are called upon too much in order to help us cope with daily stress and demands (in other words, too much on our plate and we’re stressed out); and when our thyroid hormones (TSH, T4, & T3) become out of balance, thyroid dysfunction (either hypo or hyperthyroidism) is the result.

Both adrenal fatigue and thyroid dysfunction can contribute to and exacerbate perimenopause symptoms.  Vertigo and dizziness, for example, are associated with hypothyroidism, and heart palpitations and panic attacks are associated with both adrenal fatigue and thyroid dysfunction as well.

So let me say it again, ladies, you are not going crazy in perimenopause.  It only feels that way, and you can thank some of these symptoms for it too.  The important thing is to understand that “this too shall pass.”

It really will.  And while I can’t promise you that this aging thing and menopause is “all that.”  It’s certainly a lot better than perimenopause.  So, while you may be suffering mightily with those perimenopause symptoms right now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s called menopause.

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{ 113 comments… read them below or add one }

lee February 21, 2015 at 5:17 pm

Just wanted to say hi to all you lovely ladies who are going through such a difficult time. It helps me a lot to come to this site and read your stories when i am feeling particularly bad, so a big thanks to you all for sharing. I think my hormones have been shifting alot in the last 6 months but i was so busy blaming my symptoms on myself that i couldn’t work out what was going on. I am 43 and my lifelong menstrual headaches stopped last summer, which i thought was the best thing ever till all my other symptoms kicked in! The length of my cycle now varies from 25-31 days with bleeding lasting between 2 and 7 days, some times its mostly clots. I have only had a few flushes but my temp does fluctuate alot and seems out of balance. My sleeping pattern is pretty unsteady too. The worst thing for me has been the heightened anxiety, feels of dread, panic attacks and unwanted thoughts. I found this is a viscious and complicated cycle as it seems to create all sorts of physical symptoms as a knock on effect- racing heart, tight chest, feelings of cold and constant shakes. At some points i have felt like i was falling apart and constantly wanting to go to the doctors, it truely does make you feel like you are going mad. I have just had 1 session of acupuncture which did really help and seemed to stop my body reacting to the stress of my emotional symtoms, will let you know how the next sessions go. Other things that help me are;
Taking 1 day at a time
Excercise, just 20 mins here and there
Getting outside
Being kind to myself
Reading self help books- try Richard Carlson ‘stop thinking start living’ -dodgy title but great for controlling crazy thoughts!
Remembering all the years i was well
Try see anxiety as a passing moment of fear, it always does pass
Remember not to believe anything your thinking when your’e in a low mood
I keep a list of things that helps me that i can re-read to calm me when i’m really struggling
Good luck to everyone x

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Nicole February 23, 2015 at 10:42 pm

Hi Magnolia!

My name is Nicole and I am a mother of three boys ages 10,8 and 6. I have been married for 17 years and this year I am turning 43. Perimenopause started about 3 years ago for me and I am just now beginning to understand things. I have had the most difficulty of late as I am a control freak. My oldest son has a congenital heart disorder and I am anal about medication, education and his (as well as my other guys) over all being, My husband would tell me “you go overboard ” with helping others and our guys. But for me it did/does not seem like too much. I want to raise responsible leaders in my boys.

So the marriage has not been a picnic as you can imagine. I have told my husband I want out, I have asked him to leave, I have tried to leave and it never seems to work. My menstrual cycle ends and I wake up from a days of hell. I take full responsibility for my actions, I just can’t believe some of the things I say and or do. SO weird and bizarre that I sometimes can not remember what I may have yelled or screamed about. My husband then takes the liberty to …leave me alone. The last thing I want is to be left alone. I want to be cared for and looked after like I have done for him for 17 years. But I can’t seem to get him to understand. Then today it hit me…..Why should I have to make someone that loves me understand, shouldn’t they seek answers from the depths of the earth as if …..my life depended on it? So said to say…..in my case…not so much! Thanks for listening.

Nicole

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Magnolia February 25, 2015 at 12:49 pm

Hi Nicole,

I do understand your frustration. The problem with hormone imbalance and mood swings is that most people (and most certainly men) think you should be able to control them.

I do agree that we absolutely take responsibility for what we say and we should do our best to try and avoid the outbursts. But, as you’ve learned, it’s darn near impossible. I liken it to post-partum depression, which I suffered from HORRIBLY with my 3rd and last child. I couldn’t control it. I could only mop up the mess when the mood swings left.

I wish I had some good advice for you. However, I’m afraid that women suffering from hormone imbalance don’t get much sympathy when it comes to mood swings in a marriage. Some men seem to want to try and understand and God bless them, I applaud them. But, they seem to be (around here, anyway) few and far between.

I’ve tried to use the analogy of hormonal teens. How much crap does a mother take off of teenagers while they are going through their hormonal hell during the teen years? LOTS. We seem to be better equipped in removing ourselves from the situation in terms of not making it a personal assault when our teens behave like, well, hormonal teens.

Men are not as good at that it seems. They become resentful and bitter, and well, you know the rest.

I sincerely hope you can find a way to work it out and hold on to your marriage. If you have a good marriage outside of what is happening right now, I would strongly suggest you do everything you can to keep it. As a woman who is divorced and now raising three children on her own, I don’t recommend it.

However, my divorce would have happened whether I went through perimenopause or not.

Best wishes,
Magnolia

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Madelene February 28, 2015 at 2:24 pm

Hi Magnolia and thank you for being here for us.
I’m suffering from peri menopause more than 3 years ago. But what hurt me area the unwanted thoughts that cripple my life.
How can we stop the “what if” forever.
Did you experience horrible thoughts during your journey?
Thank you

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Shndar85 March 7, 2015 at 7:44 pm

I stumbled across this site and thank God I did! I have an appt with my doc., and finally told my husband today, why I’m going to see the doc.: I feel like I’m losing my mind! I’m going crazy!
I tried to explain symptoms to him and while he certainly sees what I do, I think he just thinks I’m actually going crazy too!
The last year or two, I’ve felt rage and anxiety and a loss of control of my sanity. My thoughts can get crazy: like leaving my family and living on a beach in a hut or buying a trailer and parking it somewhere and staying by myself. I love my family and when I’m “sane”, they are my world! But when my mind goes, I don’t want any part of my world. I can’t keep my thoughts straight. I can’t convey my thoughts well. I can’t hold my tongue either…..wanting to be horrible to people because at that time, I hate everyone. I’ve never felt like this! I’ve always been able to put on a smile and be kind and helpful and productive. Now, I close myself off – for the sake of everyone because if I don’t, they are likely to get torn apart (verbally).
I take anti-depressants and birth control for hormone control – but they are not working (obviously!). Other than acupuncture, can anyone suggest how to get through this? I’m afraid I’m going to lose my family and/or my mind – this can’t keep going on like this.
I’m truly sorry to hear that anyone else feels the same way. It’s almost debilitating (it IS debilitating sometimes!). How do you get through your job? Deal with your friends? Kids? Craziness of life?
Help!!

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Magnolia March 8, 2015 at 9:07 am

How long have you been taking the birth control pills, Shndar85?

That would be the first thing I would abandon, unless you’ve been taking them for a long time to prevent pregnancy or regulate your cycles. The better approach would be to try balancing your hormones through bioidentical estrogen and progesterone. I’m hoping your physician will be knowledgeable enough that he/she will know how to help you do that.

Birth control pills are not the best way to go about it. They have their place, I suppose, as do anti-depressants, though I’m not fond of either. But, they don’t do a thing to help you balance what is out of balance.

The rages are due to excess estrogen. So, at the very least, progesterone to balance that would be a great place to start. It will also help you sleep and tame any heavy cycles you might be having as well.

How do you get through it? With persistence. You do what you can in terms of diet, exercise, acupuncture as you do, which is good, and perhaps other stress relieving activities, maybe find a good therapist where you can talk through some of it, and seek to balance your hormones. Once you become menopausal (12 months without a cycle) and as you begin to approach actual menopause, you will notice that the symptoms are less severe.

Eventually, everything calms down and you feel “normal” again. Perimenopause can be a rough ride. It’s important that you let your family know it is not them or their fault. Enlist your husband’s support so that he knows when you have mood swings and say things you don’t mean or do things wouldn’t normally do, that he can be non-judgmental and supportive.

You need that. And it is certainly something he CAN do.

Magnolia

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sheryl May 14, 2015 at 8:05 pm

I feel the same way. The crazy feeling and all the other stuff is BAAAD!! Want to just hide until this passes. I don’t know how I get thru my job on a daily basis and take care of my daughter. Life is already hard as it is and I am a single mom. Trying to explain this shit to people is useless. At this point, I’m lost and devastated.

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sheryl May 14, 2015 at 8:12 pm

Magnolia, you have helped me so much in my journey. I can’t talk to anyone about this. They just don’t get it.

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Nicole March 11, 2015 at 4:50 am

Magnolia,

Thank you so much for the validation, it means the world to me.

-Nicole

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Magnolia March 11, 2015 at 5:18 pm

You’re welcome, Nicole.

We need all the support and validation we can get. Especially when we are going through perimenopause.

Magnolia

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Trudy March 12, 2015 at 6:55 am

Thanks ladies. Just stumbled across this site and now things seem a little clearer. I haven’t been feeling normal for a while, reading all the symptoms of peri menopause I think this is what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to get my husband to understand and now I’m not sure where to turn or go from here. Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks

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Amelia March 12, 2015 at 8:10 pm

I am 43 years old and have going through perimenopause for over four years.At first I thought that I was becoming bipolar or something but then I stared to read more about perimenopause. I told myself that this stage of life will pass and that everything will be okay. However it is not going to be easy.I feel bad for people around me.I am glad to come across this post and to find aout that there is lot more woman who are going through this.What worries me are palpitations,anxiety and mud. If there is any idea on how to deal with it please let me know.Thanks

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Madelene March 19, 2015 at 11:10 am

Hi Magnolia
I’m 46 and going through perimenopause. I’m on low dose birth control pills ( starting Jan 2014) to help with my symptoms (insomnia , horrible anxiety…) .
Last month I had my FSH level tested and it came 31.
My anxiety is horrible and I’m thinking about getting off the pills and switch to Bio identical HRT along with progesterone.
My insurance would cover the standardized BHRT , what do you know about it? Would it help? My doctorS are not giving any advice !!
I truly appreciate your support , my symptoms affected my life, my children and my husband , who is willing to help but doesn’t know how.
Madelene

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Suzanne March 30, 2015 at 9:32 pm

Vodka – I used vodka for a long time and now the effects are wearing thin on my family as well.

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LK March 31, 2015 at 1:09 pm

I’m 43 and supposedly I’m going through perimenopause. Actually I’ve been going through these symptoms since I had my son at 37. At first I thought it was just the adjustment one goes through since having a baby except it never ends. Right after having our son I had severe hot flashes (this is from someone who was always cold). Then horrible mood issues (I have depression so the postpartum swung into extreme postpartum anxiety then depression; I”m on prozac and lamotrogone and it’s a god-send). Libido has been near zero. Periods while on time were very, very heavy. Thinning hair. We were going to try for a 2nd baby but the fertility doc said that it appeared I was “done”. That all of my levels came back as if I were pushing 50. She didn’t say full menopause (since I have my periods) but she did say that there was no way I was going to use my own eggs; she wouldn’t even do IVF. Well that was 4 years ago and I’m fine with only 1 child. However, the symptoms continued. The periods were so bad that I went back on low dose birth control and it has regulated it to the best of it’s ability (one day is pretty heavy but not AS heavy; at least I don’t have to change every 1/2 hour). But the hot flashes, thin hair, tired, foggy, moody w/ PMS, etc are still there. And then 3 months ago, heart palpitations started. It wasn’t anxiety but true biological heart palptations. Went for my annual wellness exam and all levels came back normal and heart was normal. And now? Since the beginning of March? Now I”m friggen cold all of the time. The hot flashes are rare. I’m cold. Not shivering cold but back to how I was pre-baby–as in it seems to be cold in rooms and I have to wear a sweatjacket.

So is this peri-menopause? My moods and the cold are the worse symptoms right now. Oh and this month, I’ve felt “crampy” all month like my period was goign to start. But with the birth control pills, it comes when it should. How much longer is this b.s. going to go on? Today for me, the mood is just unbearable. Everything bugs the @#$# out of me. It’s hard enough my company is a very unhealthy environment and tons of b.s. but today, it just feels like I rather protest the dysfunction.

Any ideas on what to do/take to help this? The SSRIs and birth control pills are non-negotiable. Any suppliments out there like maca root help?

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Julie April 8, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Iv been reading all your stories and feel for you all :( I’m 52 Saturday and think I’m at the start of this journey , iv been constantly cold for a few months day and night I have goose bumps do you think this is part of it as I’m already stressing over this ?

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Ingrid April 13, 2015 at 1:03 pm

Hello Julie ,
I think it is all part of the menopause .
I turn 54 in May and I am lately cold at night too . I need a thick blanket on top of my duvet and wear socks and have a hotwater bottle in my bed . It is ridiculous . Since 2 years I have my period always different sometimes only every 2 month but the last period was crazy . I had it for 3 weeks pretty bad it paused for 10 days and started again and have it now since 8 days but not this bad like before . My mood swings also increased the last 2 month .
I am usually a very funny and outgoing person but not anymore . It drives me crazy to be most of the time sad or angry and I feel very sorry for my family.
I take some herbal supplements since a couple of weeks but I think it needs time to work. I also ordered natural progesterone cream what should solve all those problems but needs 3 weeks to 2 month to start working . I want to be the person what I was before . Meditation helps me to feel a little better .

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Patty April 14, 2015 at 11:28 am

Hi Magnolia,

Many thanks to you and everyone else who has shared their experiences on this site!! It honestly does help to know that I am not alone in this “craziness”. I am 50 and am now in the stage of missing my period for 3 months, then getting it for 2 months, then it being late/missing again. I am ok with with that, but the loss of resilience and sense of self is what really bothers me. Like you, I ploughed through life’s up and downs, but now I am feel so lost and lonely and weak. I am certain that I would be a great candidate for estrogen replacement, but I had breast cancer at 42 (caught it super early!!), so no hormones for me. I am also the lucky one that inherited the maternal side depression/anxiety gene, so I currently take an antidepressent (mid-range dose). I am going to a yoga retreat in 6 weeks, and then trying an 8-week mindfulness based stress reduction course. I am desparate to regain my inner strength. Thanks so much for all of your insight and for providing a forum where I can express what’s going on to an audience that understands. All the best,
Patty

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Angela J April 15, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Hi LK

Try Amberen…It works wonders for me. I has really helped tremendously with my mood swings and hot flashes. I can deal with the hot flashes but the mood swings I hate. This product is great. I am also taking buspirone for the anxiety which has really helped as well.

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michelle April 30, 2015 at 12:01 am

I’m 37and so confused about what’s going on with me hot flashes are bad night sweats and my period is very messed up I have it more then I don’t does any one think this might be the start

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Cindy Watts May 4, 2015 at 1:39 pm

I am 46 a dance teacher and 2 years ago they said I have m.e. I had bad fatigue. Anxiety to the point I couldnt go to supermarket. I got a hypnosis relaxation audio on my I pod. Changed my diet as I saw a natural health person who Said I had leaky gutt Candida and adrenal fatigue I took some suppliments and I had lost a lot weight. This did help until I got Peri menopause I get zoned out like I’m not taking anything in I feel sick I worry sick about everything especially my daughter as in will I live to see her grow etc all sorts horrible thoughts. Hot flushes. Waking at night and early. Can’t wake in mornings I have to drag myself up . Feel like I’m going nuts then worry about worrying. My doc put me on the pill for hormones and it helped but after 3 months I started getting visual migraines. I’ve now stopped them and I feel yuk. I’m exhausted all time or I go into overdrive mode where I can’t sit still I can’t relax and I’m exhausted from thinking about how I feel. My only option now is to go back to docs ask to try something else because I dont think I can do this the natural way. I love my dance but can hardly do it now I rely on my volunteers and it’s really affecting my life. I worry about cancer risks with hrt etc but something must be helpful I can’t go on like this I want to be a good wife and mother and I try. Have no sex life I’ve lost myself and I must be a nightmare to live with for my husband.

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sheryl May 14, 2015 at 8:24 pm

Magnolia, you have helped me so much in my journey. I can’t talk to anyone about this. They just don’t get it.

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Magnolia May 16, 2015 at 11:15 am

Rarely do people get what you’re going through until they go through it themselves, Sheryl. I must confess that I was just as clueless about perimenopause and every other woman – until I started going through it myself.

Then it became an important subject for me to learn about. That’s just life, I suppose and how we all are as people. But, I’m glad you found this blog and I hope it provides some help for you.

Magnolia

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Lanette May 18, 2015 at 8:22 pm

I’m so glad I read every ones post, I’m going through peri- menopause. I’m 48 after reading these post I don’t feel alone anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy and I can’t control at times.

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