In my class last night I had a conversation with one of the instructors. I had shared a few things that led her to ask me what kind of time I was taking for myself.
“How nice are you being to yourself?” she asked.
It was a timely question because I had actually taken the day yesterday to do exactly what I wanted to do rather than what I thought I should do.
So instead of writing or working on business issues, I cleaned my house. Imagine that. Cleaning a house, washing clothes, and baking cookies for my daughters to have when they came home from school was exactly what I wanted to do.
Cleaning has always been therapy for me anyway. It’s mindless in that I don’t have to concentrate on anything in particular and I get immediate satisfaction. A clean counter. A shiny faucet. A polished table.
I put cleaning right up there with mowing the lawn and weeding the garden. It’s a time where I work out my angst, problem solve and generally release any negative energy that has built up in my life due to stress, hormones or just the day to day stuff that whacks on all of us.
So I was able to say with a smidgen of pride and self-satisfaction that in fact, I was nice to myself all day. So now, I ask you, dear sisters in perimenopause, how nice have you been to yourself lately? What makes you happy? What do you keep pushing to the bottom of your list so that you can do something for someone else or something that needs to be done?
Sleeping in? Watching movies and eating in bed? Sitting on the front porch reading a novel and drinking tea? (I’m from the South…..it’s shows, I know) Taking a walk? What makes you happy and how much of that are you doing for yourself?
Sometimes just offering yourself grace, kindness, and forgiveness when you fail in life (or think you have) is a treat. Telling yourself it’s “okay to be imperfect” and really mean it when you say it, is a treat.
Look, perimenopause is a tough time for so many women. When you compound the stress of hormone imbalance with a life that is devoid of pleasure and fun, but instead, full to the brim with “shoulds”, it can become debilitating.
So, my simple admonition to you today is to give yourself permission to make it about you sometimes. Completely and totally about you. It’s okay. Do it.