Mood Swings

I Have a Tendency to Neglect Myself

by Magnolia on June 17, 2014

Post image for I Have a Tendency to Neglect Myself

Do you?

I haven’t written as regularly as I’ve wanted to for quite some time now.  A very long time, truthfully.

It is primarily because I have been grieving.  Oh, how I have been grieving – the loss of my father, then my divorce, then the loss of my mother.

I know we all face loss in this life.  I also know my sorrow and sadness is no more significant than anyone else’s – than yours even.  But, it’s my sorrow – and my heart is broken.

I have felt so adrift.  Lost. Sad. Depressed. I have struggled with sleep.  I have struggled with the most mundane things: eating, taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing my teeth.  I have struggled with simply putting one foot in front of the other on some days.  Then other days, I feel fine.

And such is grief.

It comes in waves.

When I am stressed or unhappy or feeling pressure of any kind, I tend to neglect myself.  It’s not a good habit, I know.  It makes everything else worse.  Far worse.

Where does one get the idea that not eating is okay? Especially after I do eat – and I’m very health conscious and actually have very good eating habits – I feel so much better.  

And when I MAKE myself put on my walking/running shoes and go out the door to walk, and maybe a little jogging – I feel so much better. 

When I don’t have a glass (or two, or three) of wine right before bed.  In fact, if I don’t drink at all, and get in the bed by 9:00 p.m. I sleep better – and yes, I feel so much better. 

I know a lot of you ladies feel the way I do too.

Maybe you’re not grieving the loss of your marriage and the death of both your parents.  But, if you’re going through perimenopause, then you’re likely grieving.

You’re grieving the loss of your fertility. You’re grieving the loss of life as you once knew it.  You’re grieving the loss of youth, and youthful looks.  Trading it all in for menopause, middle age, and before you know it…….senior citizen status and invisibility.

Perhaps you are neglecting yourself too.  Perhaps you don’t even notice that you’ve gone three weeks without eating right, exercising, or taking a shower.

Don’t ask.

If you are grieving.  If you feel like you just can’t get through another day – maybe you need to do what I did.  Admit that you’re neglecting yourself.

Look, we all do it.

We’re women.  We’re used to eating the crumbs off our toddler’s plate and being the last in line for everything. But if you don’t make up your mind that you’re going to take care of yourself, who’s going to do that for you?

Have you ever thought about that?  Really?  Who?

Yeah, I know how it goes: “But, oh, but Magnolia, you JUST DON”T UNDERSTAND!”

I don’t?

Kick yourself in the butt. And don’t think about the fact that every step toward taking care of yourself is a monumental effort.  Well, okay.  You can think about it.  Just don’t let it stop you.

And here’s a small piece of advice and pearly wisdom that I know is true:  things change.

As long as you get up everyday and keep trying, a new day – though it may seem like the same old day which came before it – brings newness in some way.  And feelings especially change.  They change when your behavior changes.

Hence, why when I make myself go for a walk and/or jog, I actually feel better.

It works.

And remember this too……..perimenopause is a transition.  It is not a life sentence.  So, just as my own grief will pass, your hormonal imbalance will pass and you will feel better too.

Be well my wonderful readers.  I’m hanging in there and I want ya’ll to hang in there too.


Menopause is a Fact of Life, Treatment Options are a Choice

Thumbnail image for Menopause is a Fact of Life, Treatment Options are a Choice

It doesn’t matter where a woman lives. It doesn’t matter what language she speaks or how she spends her day. Menopause is a fact of her life. Every day, in the U.S. alone 6,000 women begin this mid-life adventure with hot flashes, a sudden mood swings, painful vaginal dryness, night sweats, and restless sleeping patterns. [...]

April 7, 2014 CONTINUE READING →

Menopause, Marriage, & The Male Brain

Thumbnail image for Menopause, Marriage, & The Male Brain

Dr. Louann Brizendine is a doctor of psychiatry and neurobiology.  She is the founder and director of the Women’s Mood and Hormone Clinic in San Francisco, California. She is also the author of the books The Female Brain and The Male Brain.   I have referenced  The Female Brain  here many times, because in my opinion, it is one [...]

March 5, 2014 CONTINUE READING →

Why do I feel like I’m Going Crazy in Perimenopause?

Thumbnail image for Why do I feel like I’m Going Crazy in Perimenopause?

It is the most common thing I hear from women regarding perimenopause. “I feel like I’m going crazy! What is wrong with me?” And there are a variety of reasons why women might feel this way too. Personally, I think the primary reason is the simple “craziness” of perimenopause in general. The wacky mood swings, [...]


Why Diet & Exercise is Important in Perimenopause

Thumbnail image for Why Diet & Exercise is Important in Perimenopause

I am always reluctant to discuss the topic of diet and exercise in menopause. Not because I don’t think it’s important.  But because it’s spoken of so often as a remedy for pretty much everything which ails us, I think we tune it out. I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m guilty of it. But [...]

June 26, 2013 CONTINUE READING →

What Causes Depression in Perimenopause?

Depression in perimenopause is the blogging topic for March here at The Perimenopause Blog. I hope my writing extensively on these topics for an entire month is helpful for you. As I’ve said previously, the typical 500-600 word blog post just doesn’t lend itself to a thorough discussion on a particular topic in my view. Hence, my decision [...]

March 4, 2013 CONTINUE READING →

The Benefits of Bioidentical Progesterone in Perimenopause

Thumbnail image for The Benefits of Bioidentical Progesterone in Perimenopause

Today’s post is a sponsored post by Dr. Wade Huey, a Houston based physician for Body LogicMD.  Dr. Huey specializes in bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.  Please find his bio at the end of the post. Perimenopause is the difficult time when hormones start to decline, but they are not quite low enough for a woman [...]

August 20, 2012 CONTINUE READING →

Antidepressants for Perimenopause?

The medical pendulum continues to swing back and forth when it comes to treating symptoms of perimenopause. Prior to the release of the Women’s Health Initiative in 2001, women were taking copious amounts of synthetic estrogen and progesterone for their symptoms. Today, because of the study, more is known about the deleterious effects of too [...]


Screaming to Be Heard – Your Brain, Hormones & Those Moody Blues

Mothers fortunate enough to have both male and female children were validated when scientists and medical researchers, after a decades long debate between nature and nurture as it relates to gender roles, revealed what they had known all along – that indeed boys and girls are different. Doctors and scientists finally admitted that men and women are biologically different [...]

October 18, 2009 CONTINUE READING →

Roses are red, Violets are blue and Sometimes So am I

I stopped in over at Feisty Side of Fifty to see what Eileen was up to and linked over to another blog to listen to an interview she did regarding menopause.  It was interesting and of course fun to hear her voice since we’ve only “chatted” via the Internet. I appreciate Eileen’s point of view.  [...]

June 30, 2008 CONTINUE READING →