For Men

A Brief Comment on Comments

by Magnolia on February 15, 2015

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If you are a woman coming to this blog, chances are pretty much 100% any comment you leave will be posted once you are past the initial moderation phase.

If you are a first time commenter, your comment will always go into the moderation queue for me to approve it before it gets posted. If it is a spam comment it generally never makes it to the moderation queue because my spam catcher “Askimet” does a brilliant job of diverting them straight into a spam folder before I ever know they hit my blog.

Otherwise, if you’ve never commented it will go to moderation until I approve you for comment status.  Once you are approved for commenting – usually after one approval – your comments should always post without moderation. If there are links in the comment, it will automatically go into moderation for me to check the links, even if you have already been approved for commenting.

That is not to say you can’t leave links to sites or things you find of interest or something you think others might also find interesting. You can.  What I don’t allow through is a clear promotion for someone else’s site or product without my approval.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I will examine the links and the post to determine if it’s someone trying to use my blog for self-promotion, or if they are sincerely just telling folks about something they think is helpful.

If it is the latter, most all the time I will allow the links to stay and approve the comment.  If it is a clear self-promotion comment with links to someone else’s site, but, it’s also a helpful comment, I will generally allow the comment to stay and just remove the links. If it is a purely self-promotion comment I send it to spam and it never makes it to my blog.

Now, if you are a man commenting here, chances are 50/50 your comment will make it through.  And I’ll tell you why:  for years I allowed pretty much every, single comment to post regardless of the tone, attitude or intent.  Also for a number of years, I would attempt to engage some of these men in hopes that I might persuade them to think differently about hormone imbalance.  I can say that with some, I was successful.  But, most of them were simply obnoxious jerks who wanted to fight and “explain to me” what perimenopause is or is not.

For a while, I would even leave those comments up for no other reason except for others to see what jerks they were.  However, the last year I’ve completely changed my comment approval policy and rarely let any comments by men past the moderation stage.  That is because unfortunately, they have become almost always confrontational, argumentative, angry, and looking for someone to rip into.  This is not a blog for them.

Astonishingly, many of them have the gall to call me out on “only discussing perimenopause from the perspective of a woman.”  As if perimenopause is a universal experience of all of mankind.

There is the occasional guy who comes through here who is respectful and sincerely looking for help and answers.  So, when I see that type of attitude and tone, I let the comment through and try to offer some insight if I can.  Unfortunately, those are rare these day.  So, for all you men out there wondering why your comments are not making onto this blog, I’ve just told you why.

If it’s just an occasional confrontational rant, I generally just delete them and move on.  If they continue to come here for the sole purpose of pure and simple harassment (and yes, it does happen), then I also take the steps to ban their I.P. addresses to keep them from accessing my blog entirely.  Some are persistent and change I.P. addresses and come back anyway – and I keep blocking them until they give it up.

I have actually considered making this site a member only site as that will pretty much solve the problem completely.  But, so many people come here to gather information and leave, that I don’t want to make it difficult for them to do so.  I also don’t want to scare advertisers off with a site that doesn’t allow free access to readers.

So, for now, I will simply continue to do what I’ve just explained.  Like I said, if you’re a woman, this really doesn’t apply to you. It’s not women who come here to cause problems and attack other women for having the nerve to go through perimenopause.  It is exclusively men.

So, if you are a man and want to comment at this blog, please take note of this explanation of what will and what will not make it past the moderation queue and comment accordingly. Otherwise, please move along, because there’s nothing here for you.

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