I haven’t done a Guest blogger post in a while and so I thought I might share with you all the story of one of my readers, whom I will call Elliot. (her request 
)
Elliot is not a blogger, but a woman, a reader, like many of you, who has struggled with perimenopause and was looking for help.
When Elliot first contacted me a few months ago, she shared with me her struggles and how my blogs have helped her realize she is not crazy or losing her mind (and don’t so many of us fee that way??) but, that’s she’s just going through perimenopause.
Though I didn’t specifically suggest Mia Lundin’s book, Female Brain Gone Insane: An Emergency Guide For Women Who Feel Like They Are Falling Apart
Elliot contacted Mia directly after reading the book and was able to get some one on one help with her symptoms. She has since made some strides in how she feels.
We have emailed back and forth for a while now and Elliot has shared with me and updated me on her progress. I was so delighted to hear that she was feeling better and asked if she would share her story.
Following is the email she sent back with permission to post and share it with you. I sincerely hope if anyone else out there is feeling like Elliot, that you can learn from her story and know that help really is available.
As always, your comments are always welcome and you can always reach me privately via email as well.
Elliot’s Story
In retrospect, I have names now, for what seemed to be at the time a complete loss of sanity. At 39 someone else took over my body and my brain. I started having severe PMDD and headaches that would go on for weeks with disturbing, suicidal thoughts involving loved ones. I landed for two years on a shrink’s couch. Soon, the hormone ride from hell began and I was absolutely ignorant about the subject. Then the crazy mood swings hit. And if I can borrow some words from Magnolia,
Now ladies, when I say mood swings, I do not mean I was a little testy. I mean I was full throttle into MOOD SWINGS! One day I would wake up and I would be paralyzed with depression. I would cry uncontrollably for days and days on end – over television commercials. I literally could hardly get out of bed. My eyes would bulge out of my head, veins would pop out of my neck, I would scream and rant for days. Who was this woman and where did she come from?
And so it has been, month after month. For years. Then, as time went by new ailments were added to the list: heart palpitations, dizziness, short-term memory loss, blood sugar problems, crashing fatigue, decreased libido or so much sex drive, that’s all I could think about for days – all consuming, overwhelming and no husband…need I say more?
Then, there was the weight gain, tinnitus, allergies, asthma, skin so dry it looks like sand paper, hypersensitivity to noises, super annoyed by the world in general and the all consuming guilt of putting my kids through this living hell. What kind of “effed up” process is this? Where all I feel is every way BUT normal?
Feelings of losing my grip on reality had me convinced I was going absolutely crazy. I felt so horribly out of control. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to get a fantastic therapist right off the bat. This woman is a phenomenal therapist and thank God we clicked.
In our first meeting she made the connection, that while I might have some psychological issues, the root of my problems seemed to be tied to my menstrual cycles and hormonal fluctuations. I looked at her like she had three heads. Hormonal fluctuations? What the hell was that?
I went to my ob-gyn at the time and she suggested I take Paxil which I fought with everything I had. Prior to this mess I had been so healthy I never took even an aspirin. Now, I have to take ANTIDEPRESSANTS!? Isn’t that for crazy people?
The truth is, that night I googled, “the most effective way to commit suicide”. I knew I needed to take something fast! So, I took the Paxil and started having better days. Unfortunately, I also started getting fatter and fatter and after a while the mood swings came back.
I would scream and break plates at the kitchen sink because I could see finger prints of the GLASS DOOR! ( I kid you not). Then, at the age of 40, with no husband or sexual partner, I had the brilliant idea to get my tubes tied. Do not ask me why. I don’t think it helped my situation. In fact, the tubal ligation seemed to desensitize my progesterone receptors and I dug deeper into a hormonal grave.
Forward to the present. I am now 43. Since then and now, I found The Magnolia Diaries and later The Perimenopause Blog. I also found a voice. This successful, intelligent woman was speaking of things that were happening to me without even knowing me!
Oh! The discovery was amazing, life saving and enlightening. It was true! I wasn’t crazy and there were others going through this crap too! And so my misery and I found companionship. I kept reading and found tremendous comfort in knowing that this too will pass.
In one of Magnolia’s blogs, I found what has brought me the most remarkable and lengthy state of well being I’ve known in a long, long time. Magnolia did a book review on the book, Female Brain Gone Insane: An Emergency Guide For Women Who Feel Like They Are Falling Apart
She was so kind, so sweet and so understanding. Just the sound of her voice conveyed peace to me. She agreed to a few phone consultations and in our first conversation I learned I needed some form of progesterone cream.
My symptoms were the picture of estrogen dominance, a term aptly coined by the very knowledgeable Dr. John Lee, MD who has also written several books on menopause and perimenopause.
By this time, I had also started experiencing insomnia (never had it in my life) and I was losing it. The recommendations she made ( vitamins, minerals, boosting my adrenals and serotonin levels, just to name a few) have gotten me to the best place I have been in four years. I still have my moments, because life still happens, but I’m feeling better than I have felt in a very long time.
Now, when the crying spells come, even though it would be nice to have someone to support me and tell me everything will be okay, at least I know now, it’s the influence of my hormones and pre-period drama.
But, as Magnolia always says, this too shall pass. Especially with a little progesterone! Just don’t ask me about the hairs on my chin and my boobs. And that pimple on the end of my nose? What the F?
A much more stable and happier reader!
Elliot
